Make love, not war.
Man’s evolution is incomplete without the balance of feminine energy within him. Women’s evolution is incomplete without the balance of masculine energy within her. And humanity’s evolution – the evolution of the human race – cannot progress without the balance of these two energies within our world.
Men and women however, are not “incomplete” without one another. That is to say, both men and women are capable of being wholly complete within their own Self; we do not need a mate to be complete. While it’s a lovely romantic notion, perpetuated by one of my favorite films, “Jerry Maguire,” the highest levels of evolution – and the most dynamic relationships – are the product of two whole and complete individuals. Why?
Because: 1 + 1 = 2
And: ¾ + ¾ ≠ 2
It’s simple math. It’s simple physics, too. When two people have all of their energy at their disposal, what they can create for themselves – and with one another – is greater than when some of their energy must be invested in supporting their partner to be whole. We commonly call this dependence, or co-dependence.
The coming together of a man and a woman* who are each holistic unto themselves - balanced from within themselves with both masculine and feminine energies - is exponentially more beneficial. Why? Because there can be a synergy, synchronicity, and dynamism that creates quantum experience for both of them. This kind of experience can only be achieved in a relationship of energetic equality. When energies are unequal, there is always – whether it be conscious or subconscious – a struggle for power.
All that being said – and I apologize if that was a bit dry and esoteric – can you imagine a more enjoyable opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve – and discover the beauty, power, and uniqueness of the other gender – than love and relationship? (poem)
When a man and a woman choose to come together in a partnership of equality – whether it is related to work, play, or love – it is the greatest opportunity for learning, growth, and evolution for both of them. All learning can be beneficial. But learning within a relationship of equality is the most beneficial by far because of the dynamic, creative, expansive energy that can be created. A partnership of equality is a relationship in which both partners choose to be together and to hold one another as equals. It is a relationship in which each partner agrees to be responsible - for their Self and their energies - and not to allow power struggles to be the basis of the relationship.
It is a relationship based on love, acceptance, and freedom. (See “Redefining Relationship: love, acceptance, freedom.”)
It is also a relationship based on maturity, integrity, consciousness, and responsibility. Clients frequently say to me, “Relationship is so hard!!” Well, it is if you believe it is.
It isn’t that relationship is so hard; what is hard is you working on you. However, when you commit to an on-going process of your own growth and development, you know that whatever shows up as a challenge in your relationships is an opportunity for you to evolve. And, you choose to meet the challenges of those opportunities fully, because you are invested in evolving you, and you are invested in the relationship, too. This is the viewpoint required for a relationship of equality.
Let me state this clearly and unequivocally, relationships of equality aren’t for everyone. Many do not desire it, many are not yet prepared for it, and many do not yet even grasp the concept. Relationships of equality are for those seeking more. Relationships of equality are for men and women who consciously choose to become more of who they are, desire more from their relationships, and want to express and contribute more of their Self to the world around them.
So, what does all this have to do with women…and with women and men?
Historically, men and women have been engaging in relationship as a power struggle with one another since Adam and Eve, with each gender often trying to get the other to be more like them – or to be subservient to them - so they can, or so they believed, be happy and fulfilled with their own Self.
How's that workin’ for ya?
What if instead, we viewed the situation purely as an opportunity? What if - despite differences, history, oppression, misunderstanding, pain, and frustration - we agreed to provide one another with unconditional love and acceptance?
I don’t mean airy-fairy, namby-pamby, pseudo new age love. I mean reality-based, responsible, mature love.
What if we chose - from unconditional love and acceptance - to freely and openly engage in a great adventure with one another as equals? No struggle, no suffering, no sacrifice required. No power games, no manipulation, no blame or shame. What if the goal for our relationships was simply equality, enjoyment, and evolution?
What if our relationships were really about making love, not war?
Would you be willing to whole-heartedly enroll in this great adventure?
(*This article is generally about masculine and feminine energies, gender differences, and how that impacts our relationships and our world. Many of the concepts here also apply to homosexual partnerships. The information here is not meant to be exclusionary in any way.)
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